I am astounded to find weeks have whizzed past and there is so much I haven’t done, despite being incredibly busy! It’s easy to be busy – especially with family, chores, work, exercise, kids clubs / coaching, seeing friends (in person or virtually these days), films, TV dramas… the list goes on and on! Notice what is missing from here? I do and it’s shocking.
Where the hell has all the writing gone? Sound familiar?
Listing out the past week’s activities is an amazingly effective way to highlight how easily life can get in the way and writing goes by the wayside. I am amazed that I didn’t pick this up sooner but suddenly I find another week has passed and my writing progress is not where is should be. How could I let this happen?
Multiple choice answers:
A) Lack of time management?
B) Distractions?
C) Lack of prioritisation?
D) Work pressures and commitments?
E) Family and friends (in the nicest possible way!)?
F) All of the above…
What am I to do? Beat myself up over it? Stress about it? Put exorbitant amounts of pressure on myself to make up the time? That’s a pretty negative place to go.
My character is very self-critical anyway and it actually took me a few days to write this post. The first draft was all about making an example of me, so others could learn from my mistakes… all very doom and gloom.
Then I remembered some great advice someone once gave me: choose your mood.
I could choose (and it is a choice) to dwell in those negative thoughts and pull myself down. But really, what’s the point? Will it make my writing any better or aid in my creativity? The simple fact of the matter is I need to accept that time has slipped past and I lost focus for a while. Not great, I concede, but hardly something to push the self-destruct button over…
The alternative is to choose to take a different outlook: I could take the view that ‘what’s done is done’ and accept that life will never be so quiet as to leave me in complete peace. And when you think about it, that’s a good thing! The important thing is to learn: to push the re-set button and make a conscious choice to prioritise, to keep focussed and to write!
On reflection, the life of a writer (or anyone for that matter) is never a constant. We all have friends, families, interests, work and commitments that will chip away at that valuable time. This is nothing new – I have read many a blog post that make exactly the same observation. What I wanted to share with you is what I plan to DO about it from this point forwards:
A) Lack of time management – the 3 D’s: Designate, Defend, Discipline. I hate these types of models, but this one struck a chord with me. I need to reinstate a routine to know when my writing time is, I should defend that time to ensure I can’t make (feeble!) excuses and then regain the discipline to sit down and DO IT! Due to the horrific outbreak of Coronavirus and subsequent lockdown I made some changes; I now get up at 5am and put in two hours of writing every day before I start my day job. Every day. Weekends too.
B) Distractions – avoiding distractions is tough; they are all around us! Sometimes a good TV programme (or even a rubbish one!) can seem preferable to banging out those words or gaming for those ‘few minutes’ suddenly turns into a couple of hours. Getting up at 5am before everyone else, when the world is quiet and I don't feel guilty for spending time away from family also means it is time free from distraction. It works for me as I needed to find a healthy balance between achieving my goals without being a recluse!
C) Lack of prioritisation – firmly order that list! There is a big difference between a priority (i.e. my kids, my family, work…) and distractions (movies, gaming, social media, the fridge…!). Order the former and bin the latter to give absolute clarity on what is actually important. And remember: it is OK to say ‘no’ to the low priority stuff. Maybe that is the product manager coming out in me...?!
D) Work pressures and commitments – sometimes we need to accept what’s there and work around them. For most work is never a constant so planning my time when it’s busy is crucial and making the most of quieter periods is equally as important.
E) Family and friends – it may sound harsh, but I keep coming back to what I call the ‘Death Bed Test’ which really helps to focus the mind and activities. It’s very simple: I ask myself 'What it is I want to be remembered for?'. Do I want to be remembered as a writer? In that case I need to write! Family and friends need to understand that. I’ve talked to my family and friends about this and the support I got was incredible. I found that by explaining my goals and setting their expectations around what that meant has aligned us all and promoted their understanding in terms of my priorities. They also ask for updates a lot now, which helps to keep me on the straight and narrow!!
Let us be real, people: life is for living. Relatively speaking we are only here for a blink of time’s eye. But I put it to you that we all need to make choices as to what our lives should contain and mean. For me, writing is one of those choices.
Now, where’s that TV remote….